Perhaps the most retarded lyrics of all time?

Soulja Boy - ‘Crank Dat’ - ”Yo catch me at yo local party, Yes i crank it every day, haterz get mad cuz i got some bathin’ apes” . 

Soulja Boy makes me cry. I literally am in tears when i hear his music. It is the most fucking ridiculous, cheap, poorly written, overproduced steaming pile of shit that i have ever heard, and i have heard Kanye West. Why the hell does he have so many ways to have sex with ‘hoes’? These include: ’supermanning’, ‘heismanning’, ‘doin da hiezman’, ‘spidermanning’, ‘supersoaking’ and ‘superfanning’. Why are they always hoes? i can only assume his uncle had boundary issues and he is now incapable of forming a long term relationship.

I wish i was born in the 80’s, when Michael Jackson, George Michael and Prince were dominating the charts. As of today, the top ten include such gems as:

”Thats not my name” by the Ting Tings

”Take a Bow” by Rihanna

”4 Minutes” by Madonna and Justin Timberlake

Super! What a crock of shit. And oh dear god why does Justin Timberlake get so much credit? he doesn’t write his own songs, rips off Michael Jackson’s dancing and vocal style very badly, and tries to be all ‘back to basics’ by actually playing an instrument - the piano - on tour. The only problem is he is a shit pianist. I don’t understand why all this shit music is so popular? There is plenty of good dance / pop music out there. Go find it. 

Britains Got Talent

Britains Got Talent - The semi finals where ”Signature” does a variation from on the Thriller dance. So, theyre performing Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, basically.

Quote Simon Cowell - ”You have something important. Originality”.

….?

Cripples are assholes.

After shopping for my clothes and hemp-based face cream the other day (thats right, hemp-based face cream), i was faced with the task of getting the bus home. So im waiting at the back of the line to get on when a man in his mid 30’s  gets behind me. Fair enough i thought, as i began day-dreaming about smothering my face in £7 hemp cream. The line by this point was shortening so i thought i’d be nice and offered him my place; inconviniencing me as i would  have to wait for him to wait for the ramp, then get on the bus, then awkwardly pay and get his seat; but whatever, im a nice guy. Instead of a smile or a thankyou, im greeted with ”well its about bloody time someone let me on, bloody kids”. So then we stand there awkwardly in silence as he waits for the driver to get down and pull the ramp out.

Conclusion? vote labour.